Double Mission
by Ms. O'drama
Summary: They first met as teenagers and matched perfectly until the day that I huge mistake destroyed their bond fully. Now, almost a decade later, their paths were joined again and they have too much to deal. Emma is hurter than ever and Killian has a famous band. The only thing is if they will be able to forgive each other, and most important, to forgive themselves.
1. 1st Chapter - Snackbar to the Bookstore

***** **Hey, guys! This is my first fanfic here so I really hope you enjoy reading it as much I do writing it.**

 **Please let me know what you're thinking along the chapter and also let me know if you find any typo, English it's not my mother-language, so have patience with me!**

 **Have a good read, Ms. O'drama ***

 **Emma's Point Of View:**

 **Dublin — Ireland.**

"Are you sure that you don't want to accept my offer, princess? I can sell you the grilled cheese and the cocoa for less than half-price and still I promise you a great dinner tomorrow night, what do you think?" the cashier of Philiph's, a small snack bar in front of the school that the most of the students went to lunch, insisted on his failure pickup line and eliminated a little more patience that I no longer had.

But who could I blame? The first day at a new school with total strangers can be a bit stressful.

Or maybe I just needed to stop being so annoyed, so I could make some new friends.

But I definitely wouldn't go out in a "date" with the cashier. Fine, he was young and cute, but I had just done fourteen years and "Raymond"; that was his name according to the tag in his all white uniform; wasn't exactly my type.

I mean, I didn't even know if I had a "boy type".

"No, thank you. Next time, how about?" I answered him as politely as I could and sent him a slight smile to not seem so rude. "And I'll be gladly to pay all the price of my order."

"Do you really have sure? I can give you some cookies or brownies if you wish. On the house." he persisted resting his arms on the counter and leaning towards me.

I rolled my eyes and let out a mild snort.

 _Damn! I just wanted to be able to eat fast and in peace before having to go back to school._

"I think the lady make clear that she isn't interesting. Then, could you please hand over my _girlfriend_ 's request or I'll have to complain about it to your father, Raymond?" a male, husky voice with the typical accent of Ireland, stronger than the others around, bossy spoke behind me till stop by my side and face the other boy with a minimum smile and a challenge look.

I saw Raymond petrify and my eyes widened as my mouth half-opened in confusion.

"No, you don't need, please, I had no idea that she was your new girlfriend, Jones."

 _And I had no idea about his existence five seconds ago!_

"But now you know. So, quick. Take advantage and bring my usual request. And, oh, of course, I'll still want that discount to the milady." he continued without looking at me, just pointed in my direction as he took his wallet in the dark jeans pocket.

That ended up with me finally getting my bread grilled cheese and my cocoa with cinnamon for at least half-price and not being forced to go out with Raymond.

But, in return, every single living soul in that snack bar ended up staring at me while I was looking for a place to sit with that so called Jones insisting to go with me, as if calmly eating a sandwich while following a girl he had never ever seen before was common in his life.

I took a deep breath and turned at once for him, finally having the complete vision of his face.

And, well, I think that I stayed paralyzed for a few seconds before rediscovery my voice to speak, but who wouldn't be static in my place? He was gorgeous! Perhaps the most beautiful boy that I've ever seen, dared myself to say.

"Er, thank you so much Mr Jones for helping me in that weird situation. I think if you had arrived a bit later, I would have punched him in the face. A really nice punch, by the way." I commented in a very sincere tone, biting my lower lip when I realized that I had exalted me a little.

"Killian" was all he said as he stared meticulously at my face with his left eyebrow raised.

"Excuse me?" I inquired twitching both my eyebrows without understanding.

He laughed weakly, shrugging and looking casually sideways.

"You can call me only by Killian, that's my name. I'm just about two years older than you, you don't need to call me sir, besides we're together in almost all the classes, Swan." explained himself, leaving me more perplex.

"Do you know my name?"

"I'm the one who should be surprised that you don't know mine, Emma" he gave me a sideways smile and pointed with his head to the table, saying without words to us sit down before someone take our place.

It was then that I understood why everyone in the snack bar was staring at me in that way.

Jones was popular, he apparently enjoyed it e it was obviously that everybody would like to know why he was walking and talking with the new girl that no-one knew nothing about.

"Either way, I'm thankful for your help" I insisted, starting unwrap my own snack.

"It's my pleasure. But I think that I earned the right to have your company during the lunch time all days, what do you think?" he looked at me whilst sipped a bit of his soda.

His gaze on me seemed too smartass and I could not help but squint and examine him quickly, understanding what was going on.

"You were wanting more than just doing the good action of "helping others", weren't you?" I questioned him, finding certain grace in that.

"Well, my first intention was getting your attention and I think that I've being very successful about it" he confessed naturally as if he did that kind of stuff always.

"Why?"

"I saw you first, Swan. When you passed through the school gates in this morning to be more specific, so it's me who you should have the honour to know" smiled openly laughing me a casual wink.

"Do you think so?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, I'm very sure, because since I saw you, I'm dying to know you and, till now, I didn't have any reason to regret it."

And that's how it all begun. With few, but rights and sincere words, Killian earned my affection and in a short time, I don't know how because our differences in the school's social status, we become best friends, inseparables, with him conquering me increasingly.

I just didn't know at the time that, in the very moment that I saw clearly his deep and bright blue eyes, I was already totally fucked up.

Maybe if I knew, things would have been different, rather different.

Even so I never regretted the choices I made because of him, _for him_ , I just had to learn how to deal with it consequences.

It was missing learn how to finally left the past behind and forget about it.

And that, with no doubts, would be the hardest mission of my whole life.

 ***Ten years later***

 **New York —United States.**

"It's a quarter to nine p.m." I muttered to myself apprehensive, noting how was late and wondered how much longer I would have to get there before rushing home to see my girls.

Could I arrive before they sleep?

"I can realize that you are bothered with something. Are the hours, right?" Walsh, my current financially good-looking customer, calls my attention in an adorably worried way when he stopped to observe the kitchen's details of the enormous house and saw me looking frantically to the watch on my wrist.

I could not help but laugh dull when I realized how inconvenient I was being.

I had to keep my manners and hide my frustration if I not wanted to lose that sale for nothing in the world.

"It's your impression, sir. I'm fine. We can take another tour around the house if you want" I gave my best smile trying to convince him about my words while let my arms back to hide impatience in my fingers' agitated movements.

The man, that I must admit, was quite charming and gentleman, took a few steps in my direction, handing me a white paper with some writing without divert his browns eyes from mine or decrease the smile on his lips.

"It won't be need, Miss Swan." he started with a friendly tone giving one quicker look around the room. "You can already consider this sale made and also can go home take some rest. I imagine how much you're tired" he said simply in a considerate way, assuring me with a look that my job was done and I could leave.

"But…"

"No buts, even tomorrow I'll talk with my lawyer to look after and provide the paperwork needed" he interrupted me politely "Therefore, it was a pleasure done business with you and I hope to recover you in other circumstances, Emma" took my left hand to shake it cordially, but I could not help but notice that he held it longer than it should.

"Well, thank you and until any day, Walsh" I said goodbye giving him a fake smile and a few disguised steps back before turn all my body and drive myself as fast as I could out of the house without forgetting education.

I didn't took long to get in my car and it was only in the comfort of it that I caught the paper which recently had received, chuckling sarcastically to find Walsh's name, his job and mobile number and even his e-mail address written on it. I rolled my eyes for the scanned black calligraphy before open the glove compartment and throw the paper along with the others that I've received from others single costumers or just costumers searching for a "one-night-stands".

The men in New York definitively could not come across a young and seemingly without compromise realtor that became euphoric to take her to their new houses for very different purposes than the professional meeting.

But none of them had never achieved anything with me and with Walsh would not be different.

With that in mind I accelerated the car and just focused on the road without even turning on the radio, only determined to getting in home safety and as soon as possible.

When I finally arrived in the apartment, that was quite large for three people, I was not surprised in only find a note from Granny on the table instead of the elderly in person. Nor could I be angry with her for leaving before I reached, she had no fault of my delay and it was after nine o'clock at night already.

I took my bag and my red leather jacket out, leaving both on the couch while hurry to take the high heels out, taking a deep breath to feel my feet thanks for being out of them.

The hallway that separated the living room to the last bedroom was relatively long, with the silence and the darkness predominating, the only things I could hear was my steps and a little anxious beats of my heart, until I open the door with the wording in pink "Girl's castle" and drop all the air through the mouth at once to reassure me with the soft and calm sound of their breaths.

I entered in the room as quieter as I could and opened a simple smile when I distinguish the differences in both sides of the place lit only by the bright light of the lamp that was at the centre.

The walls closest to the door were all painted dark purple while the others earned some prominence with the fluorescent pink. Whilst the side which could read the name "Hayley" written in black on the headboard had a lot of uncommon accessories like aliens toys, super-hero toys and even pirate ships, the other side with the name "Hazel" written in white on the headboard was filled by dolls of all sizes and types, colourful ponies and even toy crowns.

I would never understand how two children so identical could be so unlike at same time and so perfect.

Hayley had a long and curly hair with the same colour as mine, light skin with freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks and big and frisky green eyes. She was the most outgoing and stubborn between both with flexible eyebrows that used to drive me crazy.

Hazel, even with similar traits, had, contrary to her sister, long and straight hair reddish brown, light skin but less freckles and big and sweet sea-blue eyes. She was a little princess, the most kind and caring between both with the biggest and bright smile, but also a big baby.

I controlled my weak laugh of admiration as I approaching a little of each, just to give them a good-night kiss and save again the image of their angelical little faces, so it could be the last thing in my mind before I fell asleep.

¨¨¨¨x¨¨¨¨

"Mon, why do you always do first everything that Hazzy asks?" Hayley, the blonde one, complained once sat at the kitchen counter, saw her sister eating pancakes with strawberries and didn't found her own request.

I rolled my eyes for her typical unnecessary hassle and continued putting the pieces of waffles together with toothpicks as best as I could to create a distorted image of a ship.

I grimaced at my artwork failure while pouring a bit of honey on it, soon putting the waffle's ship in front of Hayley who opened a starved huge smile of satisfaction.

"If it were up to me I would do the breakfast of both of you at the same time, but you always ask the hardest, Hally" I defended myself and sat down in front of both, stealing a pancake in a heart shape from Hazel's plate, frowning to notice that she was too quiet and had barely touched in the strawberries.

"That's ok mom, your waffles are good in any shape" Hally smiled at me quick before trying to chew a piece of mass bigger than her own mouth.

"Hazzy, what's wrong, my beautiful? Why are you with this sad face? The hearts got very crooked this time?" I concerned taking my daughter's hand and staring at her until her big blue eyes returned sorrowful to me.

"The breakfast is pretty good, mommy" the little one sighed launching me a weak smile.

"So what happened?"

"Nothing, it's alright."

"Hazel…" I insisted knowing that was lie.

"Today is the day which every father go to the school to talk about their jobs and Hazzy is sad because we have no daddy to go" Hayley decided to tell me when she realized her sister wouldn't do it and it sparked a discussion between them.

And a terrible squeeze inside my chest.

"It wasn't for you to say anything, Hayley!"

"But you were making mommy be worried!"

"And you know she gets mad at us if we talk about that."

"Enough! The two of you!" I shouted a bit louder than I should after being paralyzed for a while, watching the little girls almost fight over a subject that was practically forbidden in that house.

In a nervous movement I passed hand in hair throwing some strands back.

It had been months since the last time they had questioned me about the man that helped me put them in the world, but it was still hard for me to talk about it.

Why they couldn't just forget they had a father somewhere in the world?

"Are you angry, mommy?" Hazel asked with a low and reluctant voice.

"No, mommy isn't angry and nor would be because of that, ok?" I reassured them, holding one hand of each and smiling closed "I just don't want to see you girls sad for something not worth it".

Both nodded at the same time and, even lost in their own thoughts, resumed to eat again.

I bit uncomfortable my bottom lip as fell that tightness in my chest only increase, suffocating me with guilt, regret, anger, disgust… Terrible memories of the past that would terrify me forever.

"All right" I sighed raising me up "Let's go before we arrive late at school, ok?"

¨¨¨¨x¨¨¨¨

After leaving them at school, instead of going straight to the real state try to get a new customer, I decided to go downtown, to go to my favourite bookstore to not only buy a new book that I was already searching from weeks, but also to clear my head, try to take the painful guilt off my shoulders.

Every single time the subject on the paternal side of the girls came to the fore the phrase "why dad don't like us, mommy?" returned to my mind and stood there until almost drive me crazy, making me revive the day when Hazel e Hayley woke up together in the middle of the night and went frightened to my bed, wanting to know why all the others kids had both parents while they had just the mother.

They had just done four years in that time and all that could think was what they had done wrong, that weren't good enough and wherefore their father who was supposed to be in their lives nor even wanted to know them.

That broke my heart so hard that I passed the rest of the night crying in silence as both of them seemed to sleep peaceful by my side.

And it was in the next day that I told the first and the worst lie of all to my own daughters.

To calm and rid them from the innocent guilt that should not exist, I told that their father was a very mean guy and didn't want to have any responsibility, that he had ran away when discovered I was pregnant not just because he was afraid of child, as also to think he was so mean that he could never being a father. And still I finalized affirming that it was the best decision he could ever done, because the three of us were better without him.

But how he could run away from something he didn't even have idea that existed?

Yes, Hazel and Hayley didn't know who he was and he didn't even know that was a father.

And, if it were up to me, it would continue that way till one of us has died.

"Hurry, on this side! I'm sure I saw him getting in here!" I scared me a little with two euphoric girls who ran past me, almost dropping some books from the shelf.

I frowned without understanding why someone would be in such a hurry inside a bookstore and shrugged turning to search carefully the book that I wanted so much. Some other works caught my attention and I was flipping through them quietly while humming low a soft melody that filled the serene environment.

"Oh my God! It's really him!"

"I don't believe it!"

"I think I'll pass out…"

"How could we have so lucky?"

More three girls appeared flustered, talking louder than recommended for a public place and seemed being close to have some kind of attack because of their super wide eyes and strange shaking.

"Where is he? Where did you see him?"

"He's in the CDs' section talking with a seller. He already know he was recognized, so we have to be quick before the security guards appear out of nowhere and don't let us touch him!" said the taller one with a leader tone as if they were planning something really important for the humanity sake.

Even not having a choice about listening them or not, I started to get curious and ran my eyes over the place trying to understand what was happening.

 _Tom Cruise was in New York to record the new Mission Impossible?_ I thought sarcastically while noting that teenagers arrived all the time, of both sexes, increasingly crowding the store.

From where they all came and how arrived so quickly? It was a morning Thursday, should not they all be at school?

"These youth of today…" an old lady passed me indignant after practically being expelled from CD's area by the crowd that had formed there.

Soon the bookstore's staff was trying to reduce the noise and control the situation. And I, as others costumers that didn't understand what was happening, caught myself approaching me curious, passing discreetly by some girls who were asking a boy to keep breathing.

 _Ok, people really know how to exaggerate._

"Hey, girl, could you please tell me what is going on here?" I handled as gently as I could a redhead's arm that faced me like I had three heads before open a big smile.

"It's KJ! The Double Mission's vocalist, the best band ever in the world. He's here in New York for the first time!" she said so quick that I would not have understood if I had not been paying due attention.

"KJ?" I twisted my nose. The new singers had no more creativity to their artistic names?

"YES! He's such handsome!" a brown and short one joined the conversation with a dreamy gaze.

"Talented, funny…"

"Fucking hot and… oh my God! He's coming in our direction!"

At that moment the screaming increased and I regretted having gotten in the middle of them, so I started to walk to the opposite side until I get to the cashier in safety and pay for the three books I had caught.

"No, no-one knew he would show up here, it was a surprise" the cashier who answered me replied his workmate's question.

"I didn't know that famous people are still able of walk normally the streets" I continued hearing their conversation while I was looking for the wallet in my purse, till I feel someone stop behind me and a sudden silence fill the place.

"Hi, excuse me and sorry, but could you take a picture of all of us so I can prove to my bandmate asshole that I entered and managed to get out alive of a public place?"

I quickly lifted my face in an automatic reflex and came cross with a smiley mouth surrounded by a reddish beard inches from me. Instinctively I took some steps to the side, soothing myself when I realized he was talking with the cashier.

Five seconds were enough for me to see his entire face and recognizing him.

Then I literally fell backwards after colliding with a shelf full of plush animals and, as if that was not enough already my situation and stunning, all the store attention turned to me.

"Are you ok?" a little girl approached me with worry and curiosity, making my cheeks burn and my legs act rapidly to put me standing again.

"Yes, I'm. I just…" _slipped_. I gulped the word when I felt all the oxygen get stuck in my lungs after my heart had completely stopped working.

 _Blue_.

It was all that I could see, all that I could think while both famous' big eyes staring at me intensely and laden with doubt.

Two eyes of the clearest ocean colour;

The same eyes of Hazel;

The same eyes of my daughters' father;

The enigmatic eyes of "KJ";

 _Killian Jones_.

When I finally realized what happened and that I was in danger of being recognized, I did the first thing that seemed right and ran out of the store to make sure that anyone over there could see me, that _he_ couldn't see me.

I prayed mentally for me had not seemed so crazy and continued my way with something stuck in my throat, warm and noise breathing and sweating hands.

As much as I knew that he would not come after me, that maybe he nor remembered of my existence, I still feared the opposite and wished that the passage of his band was as short as possible.

But… Double Mission? Why I had the impression I've already heard this name before?

"Emma?!"

My legs stagnated and my mouth dried when a hand held firmly my arm and all that I could do was freeze from head to toe.

 _That couldn't be happening!_

How he thought he had the right to just now come after me after all these years?

No, he had not the right. _Not after all the suffering he put me through_.

 ***So, what did you think? I know that perhaps it was a bit confused, but everything will be explained along the story, I promise!**

 **Sorry for any typo that may have occurred and don't forget to vote and let me a comment if you think I deserve!**

 **See ya! ;)***


	2. 2nd Chapter - Welcome Party

***** **Hey, thanks to everyone that had favorited or followed the fanfic and also thanks for the reviews, you guys are pretty great!**

 **But again, english is not my first language, so please let me know the typos, ok?**

 **Thank you and have a great reading!***

 **Emma's Point Of View:**

 **New York —United States.**

"Emma?" called me again, not giving me another choice but turn myself to face him and wear my impenetrable armour.

My chin dropped and I blinked stunned for a few seconds.

"Graham?" I exclaimed in doubt about what I felt before such revelation " What are you doing here?" I asked crossing my arms when I realized that I was being rude by just looking at him.

 _And somethings would never change; Jones would never lose his time running after me._

 _But I nor even had sure if he had truly saw me._

 _Who I wanted to cheat?_ I was glad for it.

Graham smiled weak looking at me for a moment as if to make sure I was fine and I couldn't blame him after the way I had reacted.

"I work at the police station from here, remember?" he inquired leaving his posture more straight and the hands inside the pockets of his work's coat, showing a little of his badge on his belt.

I let the air out fully through my nose, switching my support leg, still in doubt if it was or wasn't a good idea keep standing in the middle of the street so close to the bookstore.

But Graham was a friend of mine, or that's how I saw him, since I was well aware that he, after two asks for dates and constantly flowers sent to me, wanted to be much more that I was able to offer. He was a friend, someone that someday helped me with a case in my job; when one of my ex-customers deceived me with a false bank account; and I would be eternally grateful for it.

Just grateful for his support and his kindness, that's all.

"Yep, indeed" I smiled dull "Sorry, I was a little distracted".

"I could see, you seemed to be in a hurry, something happened?" he concerned, looking around quickly.

A lot of people were passing us all the time coming from different directions, making it easier in camouflage me and no-one to come out of the bookstore would worry about me.

"Nothing, I just realized that I was late to a visit and didn't want to lose much time" I lied in the most polite way I could. I liked Graham, he was a good company and had been nice to the girls both times that saw them, but I didn't want to have any relationship and in the moment I wasn't in the mood for conversation.

"So I guess you're still in hurry…" he supposed realizing my unquiet body, specially my left leg that kept shaking in nervousness.

 _God! I needed to breathe_.

"Yes, we speak later, so?" I hastened to end the conversation without worrying about the typical and polite stalling.

"Sure, Emma" smiled subtly giving me a brief nod while I waved and turned myself to follow my way to the car that was parked only a few steps away.

Instead of going straight to the real station as I should – again −, I took the opposite way and went to a big Starbucks that had a few blocks near home, I ordered a big Cappuccino with caramel and cinnamon and a greasy and juicy chocolate donuts. I sat in a table of two near the window and tried to distract myself with the continuous movement outside the street while I ate.

It wasn't exactly working out, but the hot and sweet invading and filling my blood was doing the miracle of calm me down.

My heart already decelerated in conjunction with my breath becoming mild. The same couldn't be said for my frosty sweaty palms and the constant and strong pounding in my head, what to me just could mean one thing: Concern.

How was possible that, in the same day when my daughters had turned to question me about their paternity again, their father resolved simply appears? What were the chances he had gone fulfil his bet just in the bookstore I was in? What were the chances of that terrible coincidence?

I still couldn't and nor was capable of believe in that.

Seeing him here, so close of Hazel and Hayley made me have an awful fear of them discovering the truth, that he found out and tried to get them away from me, just to make me suffer and let me miserable like he had done years ago.

But this time I would not play the victim, I would not be weak and I would keep faithful on the idea that he didn't have recognized me, that soon he would go away with his band and I would never be forced to find him again in the same way he would never know he was father.

Was I being selfish? No, I just wanted to protect the people I loved the most in the world of a great deception.

¨¨¨¨x¨¨¨¨

I arrived earlier at home and because of it I could spend more time with the girls before they had to sleep and what I wished the most was to stay with my kids not mattering what we did, but that day everything seemed to be conspiring against me.

"Hayley stops kidding and go take a shower, please? I won't be telling you again!" I yelled while walked around the house and looked at all sides, stoop down to see if I could find the little naughty girl hidden underneath the bedroom desk.

I was going in the direction of the living room to continue to find her when my mobile rang, making me turn to the bedroom to catch it on my bed. The name on its display warned me that was my mother, but I only answered when I saw Hayley running in the kitchen and went my way to there.

"Sorry for not calling you earlier today, mother, I was busy" I apologized already imagining the speech she would do, hiding that the real reason was that I had forgot to have overloaded my mind for all morning and evening.

"It's all right, darling, I don't want to bother you anyways, I just called to make you an important invitation" she told me with the same tone lively ever, making me smile aside and roll casually my eyes.

"Sure, mom. What kind of party you lady will give now?" I questioned already knowing what was coming. Mrs. Ginnifer simply loved give socializing parties wherever it appears a good reason. But also, with such huge mansion like the one my parents lived, who wouldn't do?

"Speaking like that it seems as if you do not like" she talked back pretending she was offended. I just rolled my eyes while tried to keep my mobile stuck between my shoulder and my ear, so I could catch Hayley for her arms as the girl insisted on wanting to get away from the bath by simple tantrum and it was already annoying me. "Anyway, your brother came back to home this week! Is not a wonder?" she told me exacting and I easily could image her with a big smile and eyes glowing.

I could not help but smiled with the news, even if I was having some difficulties in taking off Hayley's clothing.

"If you don't start to help me now I will let you without chocolate for one month!"

"What? Why? I love chocolate!"

"I'm not talking to you, mom." I laughed at the older desperate voice on the other end of the phone and put the kid under the shower and turned on the water "Wash yourself and do not take longer than necessary" I commanded before left the bathroom, ignoring the huge pout that the girl had on her face.

"And this was for me?"

"No, Hayley was just making me lose my temper. But… heading back to where we were: It's seriously that Mr. David resolved to stay in the United States once and for all?" I questioned when I remembered of how well my brother was living in the Ireland. I think that it has been years since I saw him personally.

"Not exactly" she sighed "You know that he already has this band for a while and they are in fact doing very well. This is their first time in the country as a band and they will have to spend extra time here in New York to resolve some things before start their first world tour. Then I left them to use the mansion as hosting for the members and your brother managed to convince the entrepreneur, so… It's nothing more than fair give them a welcome party, isn't it?" she told me with a hint of pride.

I, on the other hand, almost punched myself on the face. I have been so full of things to do, so overloaded with work and with the children that I barely remembered that my own brother had managed to fulfil his biggest dream, I felt guilt for not giving him the support he deserved, but since that I got pregnant at seventeen, I couldn't think in nothing else but in the girls and David being so far away only contributed to our detachment.

I missed my big brother so hard.

"Yes, this time I have to agree that the reason of the party is truly good" I joked throwing me on the couch and nibbling my lower lip, laughing weak to hear the older grumble.

"You will come anyways, won't you? It'll start tomorrow night at eleven and I'm sure that your brother will be sad if you don't show up. He really misses you, Em."

"I know" was all that I could murmur between a sigh, until I widen my eyes when something came to my mind.

David had just arrived in the state with his band formed in Ireland.

In that same day I figured out that Killian was close and was a part of a new notorious band.

I've known Killian in Ireland in the time that we lived there.

It was just put two and two together.

And, even I wishing being wrong, had only one way to find out.

"Mom, what is the name of David's band?" I asked feeling my breath heavy in anticipation.

It took a few seconds of silence in which my mother probably tried to remember and this only made me more nervous.

"Double Mission" she said making my heart stop only to return to hit painfully "A curious name, indeed, I think I'll ask them the reason later."

I could not answer or have any reaction for that, I could only think in the great misfortune I was having.

With so many boys around the world, why Jones had to formed a band with my brother?

"Honey? I can confirme your presence, right?" Ginnifer inquired seeming a little fearful and I promptly gulped looking for my voice.

"Sure, I'll be there."

Then we just talked quickly in a casual way before we say goodbye and I having to run to see Hayley in the bath, fighting with her for no wanting to let me turn off the shower.

At bedtime, while I could hear the strength breath of the girls dreaming, I could not even get a wink of sleep and the white ceiling was the only thing in my view while my mind created without permission thousand and one assumptions about what would happen in the next night and how I could handle all them, unfortunately, none involved I not going to the party and keeping distance from my parents' house, because, regardless of my past and of all the secrets I would further suffocate, I couldn't fail with my brother.

It wasn't right I run away from my family because of my fears.

¨¨¨¨x¨¨¨¨

"Are you sure that it's okay? I don't want to cause you any problem, Granny" I asked worried about being in the way of the routine or some compromise of the old lady who had been helping me with the girls since I decided to leave my parents' house for more than five years ago and was more than a babysitter "factotum" for us.

"Course not, dearie. You know I have only my granddaughter and that she works at Fridays and Saturdays night, so it will be nice stay here and have my sweetheart's company" she guaranteed me with a kind smile on her face while continued to comb the Hazel's long hair before start doing the hairstyle "And it's not like we have never done this before" reminded me launching me an amused look that made me roll my eyes in embarrassment to understand the meaning of her sentence.

Granny had stayed with the girls during the night only once, when I finally accepted go out with Graham and came back even more decided to let my walls raised, not for him be a bad person, because was the complete opposite, I was just not ready to let me get involved with someone again.

"All right" I sighed heavily and went to the biggest sofa to say goodbye to my daughters "Mommy will leave now, but will come back, ok? And soon I'll manage to uncle David and aunt Mary Margaret come to see you both, I know how much you miss them" I spoke crouched facing Hayley that had paused the cartoon on television to pay attention to me.

The two of them nodded with simply smiles and lifted running to hug me – Granny complained by Hazel made her ruin the hairstyle that she had already begun − almost knocking me down by the sudden weight and impact.

I could not help but laugh and squeeze them with strength against me, giving a long kiss in cheek of each before release them and lift me up.

"Don't take too long, mommy" Hazel asked with simplicity while turned to sit in a stool in front of the grey-haired lady.

"I'll do my best" I smiled taking my black small purse "I love you, my babies. 'Till later and thank you so much, Granny!" I said while drove myself to the door.

"Have fun, Emma!" the lady wished me while the girls threw several kisses clicked at me, I returned them before leave closing the door and feel all the nervousness I had avoided until now cover me from head to toe.

I walked the whole way to the main elevator on wobbly legs, barely holding on my black heels and when I faced myself in the mirror I let all the air I was holding slip hot through my lips.

As I was alone, I tried to distract myself to analysing myself, having serious doubts about the red, tight and slip dress I was wearing. It went to mid-thigh, was not so short, but the cleavage was certainly revealing. The hair was loose and undulating at the tips, thrown over my shoulders. The make-up was lighter than should and only two small white stones graced my ears.

Ok, I didn't want to catch attention, but wanted to seem be going to a party, then that outfit could be considered acceptable.

Throughout the journey to the mansion I stayed in automatic state and I needed to thank Heavens to know how to drive well, otherwise I had no doubt that I would have caused or suffered some accident due to my distraction.

But it wasn't reasonless, I was going to meet Killian Jones again after seven years without giving any sign of life and it would be harder due what I was hiding now.

And the worst of all, I would have to be nice with him and pretend that I didn't hate him more than anything in the world, everything to have my brother close to me again.

What are we not able to do for our family?

As expected, when I got to the mansion I was welcomed by a valet who was a gentleman by opening the door to help me out and gave me a warm welcome before going himself park my car that was clearly inferior compared to others which were already there.

I entered the cosy hall after passing through the big front door and just smiled politely to the waitress who wanted to serve me a drink right away.

The party had started only an hour ago and therefore had only a few people around the main hall, which was almost all white, illuminated by a magnificent crystal chandelier hanging at the beginning of the wide staircase – my mom really loved that chandelier − and the atmosphere was filled with a smooth harmonious melody.

I looked discreetly around the place, but didn't recognize any face, so I ended up standing there in the middle without knowing what to do.

"Emma?" I heard a familiar voice call me with certain doubt and I wasted no time in turning me toward him with a contented smile on my face when I recognized the blond man with light skin e charming blue eyes.

My older brother didn't seem to have changed much since the last time I've seen him, but his hair was definitely quite shorter.

"Dave!" I exclaimed and hugged him tight, pressing him harder against me when I was reciprocated with the same joy, I could not help but smile so widely that made my eyes water.

"I'm glad you really had come, I was afraid of you don't show up" he confessed relieved in my ear, letting me from the embrace just to hold my face and watch it for a while.

"There was no chance I would not come, I really missed you, little bro" I confessed remembering how we were close before we begin to live in different countries.

"My lord, you're so different! I was barely able to recognize you!"

"Mary Margaret!" I exclaimed surprised when I saw my brother's girlfriend next to us and wasted no time to huge her either. They two have been together for five years and I loved Mary, she was a wonderful person and had become a great friend to me however we did not see each other much in person.

They two were the favourite uncle and aunt of Hazel and Hayley and it was not for less, they were awesome with the girls and with anyone.

"You cut you hair! You're beautiful!" I noticed when I realized that the long black and tangled wires had given way to a pixie and stylish hairstyle.

"Yes, I decided to change a little" she told me happy playing with the fringe "And you let yours grow, don't you? You look incredible, Emma" smiled me sincere while David stared at us with an expression full of pride. His eyes were almost glowing.

"Yep, the last time I saw you, you still looked like my little girl, Em. Who let you grow up?!" he remarked in jest taking his girlfriend's hand while looking at me admired, making me blush a bit.

We stayed a long time talking, reminding ourselves of past events and counting others events to each other. All the time someone came to greet us and try to catch David's attention, who not got carried away and continued with us, everyone curious to know where the rest of the band was, after all they were the party's reason.

At one point our mother appeared euphoric and stood talking to us for a while, telling that our father was on one of his trips to work, making clear how happy she was to see her children together again and giving me scolding because I had not brought the girls. But how could I? It wasn't an event for kids and they had time to sleep.

Soon she disappeared from our view to act the hostess and the three of us decided to sit in one of the large tables that were still empty. Several women hit on my brother blatantly and, although Mary had whispered me how much she hated that part of his fame, did not say a few good to none, and nor even reacted. I wondered how she could endure that kind of thing quiet, rationally because I certainly would explode in jealousy.

Until a couple approached, sitting with us and the groupies decided to leave us alone.

"Sorry the delay, but it's hard to leave my mother's house once you get in" the woman, with dark hair shoulder length, intense brown eyes, full lips loaded with red lipstick and an elegant posture, said apologetically. It was noticeable her superior air that probably put many people away from her by pre-trial, but she was indeed very beautiful.

"It's okay Gina, you guys at least were the first to come back" Mary Margaret reassured her before drinking some of hers purplish drink.

"Yeah. I'm even afraid to know where those two put themselves in" David confessed.

"We are talking about the duo "explosive"; it is no exaggeration being afraid" the companion of the so called Gina said with a weak laugh.

"And who would you be?" the woman asked staring at me with careful curiosity, making my brother realize that he not had introduced us.

"Oh, sorry" he hastened getting his face red "Regina, Robin, this is my youngest sister Emma, whom I always speak about. Em, this is Robin de Locksley, the band's bassist, and Regina, his wife".

I greeted both with handshakes and formal smiles only then realizing the wedding rings on their fingers.

"Married already?"

"And with a small son" Robin completed proud making me get half-open mouth surprised.

"And you are older than I imagined, Miss Nolan" Regina confessed launching an accusatory look to my brother.

"Miss Swan, actually" I correct her speech without being rude "And this is because David should only have old pictures of me, besides he always talk about me as if I was still a baby".

"Sorry, but you'll be my baby forever".

I found out that Regina and Robin have known each other for years, but they dated just for four years, married for two and with a little son – who seemed adorable by the photos – only three years old, named Roland.

They formed a cute couple and were friendly and funny.

Robin and David had studied music together in college and were the first to have the idea for the band, and how this could not be made only by a guitarist and a bassist, none knowing sing, they decided to look for other members and were close to telling me how it had been when a tall man with olive skin came out of nowhere and almost threw himself at the empty chair between me and Regina, interrupting the conversation.

"There are no more need for tears, I'm already here, my pumpkins" the unknown man said boastful with a huge and beautiful smile of white teeth.

His skin was a perfect caramel brown colour, bright expressive eyes and curly hair, but with a buzz cut and filled lips. His clothing choice showed how much he was stylish and reckless – in a good way − and his way revealed how he knew he was gorgeous and the advantages he could take of this.

How I had presumed so much in few seconds? Well, let's say that I was an excellent observer.

"Sure, I was almost drowning myself in my own tears from crying, Merlin" David teased with a restrained expression, almost as if he'd giving an earful on his bandmate. It seemed so real that made Mary Margaret and I laughed.

"Wait!" I said high when I realized something "Merlin? Is it your real name? Like Merlin, the sorcerer of the King Arthur's tale?" asked laughing weak with the idea.

"Yes, not because of the old bearded from the cartoon, of course. I think my parents just liked this name" he told simply, running his eyes through my whole body without disguise "And who is this beauty am I having the great pleasure to know?" questioned in an obvious flirting while took my hand carefully, giving a cordial kiss on it without taking his eyes from mine.

"Merlin…" my brother grunted and I couldn't help but smile flattered aside and ignore him.

"Emma Swan. I'm David's younger sister".

"Um, now I can understand where the whole beauty of Mrs. Ginnifer went because Nolan definitely didn't inherit none" Merlin launched me a wink and sat back straight on his chair, soon dropping a cry of pain "Shit David, you know that the bone of my leg is sensitive" complained stooping slightly to move his hand on the leg.

"So learn to not hit on your friends' sister if you don't want to get more kicks" Dave warned narrowing eyes and triggering a small discussion on the subject which made me laugh.

All of them seemed to be amazing people, they were letting me more comfortable than I thought I would be, making me feel well and welcomed. I was happy for my brother had met friends like that, proud for him be conquering his biggest dream, for working in the music world and being duly recognized for his talent and the talent of his band; I've never heard Double Mission plays, only my brother, but I was sure that if they weren't good, they would not have such fame, they would not have fans of all ages willing to do anything to meet them.

"Now I can understand why the girls seem to be so crazy about you guys. The whole band is wonderful, just good-looking boys" I commented sincerely when the table got all silent for a few instants "With all respect" I said to Regina and Mary Margaret that smiled nodding.

"And this is because you haven't seen the vocalist yet. Hotter in a bad boy guyliner way is impossible" Regina affirmed me with mischievous smile, making me raise my eyebrows surprised.

I looked to the face of everyone seeking to find some signal of incredulity, but they all seemed indifferent as if that was normal, as if a married woman talk in that way about another man in front of her husband was normal.

 _Would they have so much intimacy and freedom like that or it was all a joke that only I had not understood?_

"Will you really let your girl talk about the sculptural body of another man, Robby?" Merlin took the words out of my mouth – kind of – putting a hand on his chest and opening his mouth in indignation; it was obvious that he was kidding.

"Yes, I'll, cause after all is truth. Our captain is a real knockout." Robin said trying remain serious while Regina was already with her face turned away to hide her loud laugh.

"Wow, that was more gay than usual coming from you" David exclaimed having fun with the situation, but soon his smile completely failed.

"Relax, love, you don't need to get jealous, we all know that Killian is only yours" Mary said rubbing her boyfriend's arm and everyone burst into laughter, inclusive myself that surprisingly not had worries on shoulders anymore.

"I still don't get it where this idea came from. Killian isn't mine, I don't have anything with him!" Dave defended himself seeming offended, but nobody listened and started a chorus saying "Jones is Nolan's" catching the attention of many people around.

I couldn't say anything, just laugh.

"Am I from whom?"

In the next second my face grew serious, with all the signs of nervousness in my body and paralyzed, staring with my eyes widened at the man that had sat unconcernedly by my side.

 _Why the last empty chair had to be the one by my side?_

I was well aware that everyone in the table continued the chat normally, and that the party was increasingly noisy and crowded, but I couldn't pay attention to anything that was not Killian Jones a few inches from me seeming, below the low light that illuminated him, more attractive and sexy than I remembered in our school time.

Of course I had seen him in the bookstore, but I didn't pay attention and now, having the opportunity to review every feature of his face, hair a little long and messy with some wires fringe fallen on the forehead, as dark as before, a reddish mouth with the same smirk, the sea blue eyes with the guyliner, the whole outfit dark and with much leather, the shirt with the top buttons undone showing a part of his chest, muscles understatedly marked by tight clothing… Every single detail made me want to scream like one of his fans with hormones under the skin.

 _How he did that?_

 _And how could I leave me affect so easy?_

"Then I ended up taking a little longer because the jerk Merlin ran away and left me alone with the girls and they didn't leave me! Seriously, it's not easy have to deal with five at once, especially whe…" Killian was telling excited until turn a little his face and finally notices my presence, stopping instantly and staring at me almost as perplex as I still staring at him.

His gaze against mine let me breathless.

Blue on green.

Confusion, yearning, remorse and broken hearts.

After so long we were there again for some joke of fate.

It was too much for me and even so I could not help but stare at him.

My shock was gradually dissipating then I was already able to clearly perceive things around, I was able to perceive his mouth half-opened, arms slipping onto his lap as his body grew more tense, his jaw locked, breathing was heavy and his eyes never left mine. The intensity was so high that none of us was capable of blink, almost being possible to read the millions of questions that took place in his head.

The party continued normally as if my world had not collapsed and I wasn't sure yet about how long Jones and I were looking like two statuary, but seemed to be enough to make everyone in our table shut up and stand staring at us confused.

Killian's eyes were bluer than ever and were so equal to Hazel's that hurt me.

His lips stirred hissing my name and I gulped.

He remembered me.

And I never wanted to disappear so hard.

"Killian? Are you ok, mate?" Robin asked for everyone breaking our small and private trance.

Jones blinked several times returning to consciousness and I straightened my body in the chair, closing my eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to calm myself down, trying to forget that the person that I wanted more distance was sitting right next to me.

"It's all great, just got a bit distracted" I heard Killian's husky voice and my body tensed. I decided to ask for a glass of ice water to the waiter passing by us to at least pretend I was fine.

When I turned my attention back to the table I found David looking worried and suspicious at me with his typical overprotective attitude, I only nodded and smiled weak to reassure him.

"Right and, well, either way I already wanted to introduce my little sister to you. Killian, this is Emma Swan, the most adorable little brat in the world and Em this is Jones, our hyperactive vocalist" Dave introduced us with a big, beaming smile loaded with pride, having no idea that we both already knew each other _very_ well.

I grimaced at the way he had looked at me, launching the most polite smile possible to Jones that glanced at me inquisitive, seemingly not knowing what to do in that situation either.

"Why your surnames are different?" Killian asked in a casual tone of curiosity, catching me off guard. I could feel his gaze burning me, but I was already decided not looking toward him.

"Well noted, I was already asking myself the same thing, I just did not have the opportunity to question" Regina commented showing interest.

I rolled my eyes in a disguise way while took a few sips of water that had come, having no desire to hear the story about how odds my parents were because they've never wanted to share the same surname and decided that would be so also with their children.

Not as if it were make a big difference, both Josh Nolan and Ginnifer Swan were super requested lawyers and owners the biggest advocacy of the country, the Charming's.

The only thing that insisted on pounding in my mind was the question of how, with so many people in the world, my brother had to know precisely Jones.

I wanted to know how the fate had managed to be a great son of a bitch bastard, full of sadism to want to see me suffer.

And after that I would go away as quickly as possible and, even all of them being great people, I would find a way to never meet the band again.

"So, finish telling the story about how the band was formed, Dave, I'm curious to know if someone stood chasing you to convince you to let him in" I interrupted any conversation they had begun with a sarcastic smile on my face, not taking too long to feel the heavy look of Killian over me, probably incredulous with my question.

But I would not return his gaze nor give him answers.

He had ceased to deserve anything from me a long time ago.

 ***So, what did you guys think? Let me know and don't forget to help me with the typos, ok? See ya :* ***


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